All stoners have funny weed stories to tell, it is part of the whole high-life experience. Nothing is better than hanging out with your homies reminiscing about the time you tripped your balls out and puked the pizza you had just eaten out exactly the way it went in, in the shape of a pizza which then remained there for days and all your friends wanted to see this monument in remembrance of a high moment.
Here we present you with our 10 funniest favourite stoner stories of all time, undoubtedly there are countless others, but this is the list of our favourite ones from what we could find.
1)Oh,Sheeeeet
I went to bed, and legit thought my blanket was trying to eat me. The next morning, I realized I was just fat, and the blanket slid up and down my belly with each breath.
2)Best muffins ever
I was in year 11, a guy I knew in class offered, so we went to a park, he made a bong out of a soda crush bottle and a pen. Used V instead of water. Got so wrecked started talking to a tree, later on walked to Coles and began fake crying cause I couldnt afford some choc muffins, so a lady walking past asked and offered to buy them for me if I did the rest of her shopping with her, she was like 70 or something.
The best muffins I had ever tasted, could not stop laughing the whole bus ride home. Then went and told my parents cause they were mad stoners back in high school.
3)Too much sauce
I smoked a 2L gravity bong and puked my guts out for two hours, had a recovery break of two hours, then I ate 2kg of french fries with 1L of Garlic sauce. After that I took another hit and I never stopped since
4)Firefighters Inhale a Lot of Smoke, Suddenly Get Munchies
Firefighters are usually pretty serious people, what with the whole “saving people’s lives” thing, and all. But even the most humorless firefighter is no match for a house full of marijuana plants getting burned to the ground. In 2008 these brave folks showed up to put out a fire at a grow house, and they basically found themselves inhaling mass quantities of that sweet, sweet cannabis smoke. When the local news crew showed up to conduct their interviews, we were blessed with 10 seconds of astoundingly funny video of the fire chief staring blankly into the camera while admitting, “I inhaled… so much smoke.”
5)Drug Bonfire Gets Entire Village High as Kites
“Just a firefighter or news report? Pshaw! That’s child’s play. We got a whole village high! Now who’s got the s’mores?” – Indonesia.
Officials in West Jakarta, Indonesia learned the hard way that you might not want to burn a huge pile of confiscated drugs in the middle of a field on a windy day. In October 2015, officials did just that, piling up tons of marijuana, crystal meth, Ecstasy and other goodies into a field, inadvertently getting an entire village of people high as a kite.
Reporters and villagers all reported feeling dizzy, getting headaches, and then tripping out and basically feeling pretty damn amazing. Just your average Tuesday afternoon!
It’s no surprise that there’s no video for this story because officials probably wanted to pretend this incident never happened. Also, the news reporters on the scene were most likely way too buzzed to do their jobs.
6)Redditor Gets Entire Family High
A Redditor who has since deleted his account (wonder why), posted a much-updated viral thread in r/trees about how his mother mistakenly used his cannabutter in a chicken dish eaten by his entire family. She somehow thought it was vegan butter, but it was actually infused with a very special kind of herb.
Reading his descriptions of how each family member reacted is gold. Reddit gold.
Be careful out there, people! Or don’t; I’m not your mom. Have fun.
7)The fridge-raiding mom who ruined spring break
“I was in college, but visiting home for the weekend right before I was going on Spring Break to Panama City, Florida. My friend and I cooked up a batch of weed brownies — and we also made some with shrooms in them, too. He’s an idiot, and left them in his fridge with a note that said ‘DON’T EAT.’ Obviously, his Mom thought he was just being a dick, and ate like, two or three. Unfortunately for her, she ate two weed brownies and one with shrooms.
“My friend went out for the day, and his Mom had no idea what was going on — she was a little naive in the first place, to be honest. She ended up calling 911 because she literally thought she was going insane, all of a sudden, out of nowhere. When my buddy got home, he realized what had happened, came clean, and it was a massive shit-storm. Needless to say, he didn’t go on any trips that week. But hey, at least his mom did!
8)The mom who embraced stoned-selfies
“My older brother recently gave my mom a caramel, because she’s open to experimenting with weed, and he smokes it for anxiety. The thing with my mom is that she assumes she can handle anything thrown her way. Tacked on to that, she really had NO idea what the potency of edibles are like, so she ate one and just… got weird. Like, she called me a dozen times throughout the night and kept telling me about how she kept traveling through time and space. On top of that, she made my brother come over to keep her calm and they spent the rest of the night thinking of ways to keep my Dad from finding out. But, I seriously got 20 texts about all the weird shit she thought she was seeing. A lot of selfies too, for some reason.”
The son who had to drive to grandma’s house… sober
“I was on a long road trip with my parents to my Grandma’s for Christmas, and I had a pack of hard weed candies from a dispensary in Colorado in my backpack… because that is like, the only way I could have gotten through six-plus hours in a confined space with my family. When I was in a rest stop, my brother was looking for mints inside my backpack, found my stash, and proceed to dole out my 10mg hard candies to my mother and father. No one was really mad when they found out. But, they were extremely high. I ended up being the only sober person on my trip. And obviously, I had to drive the rest of the way.
The dad trying to relive his glory days, with mixed results
“Well, my then-59 year old father decided to relive his youth from the ’60s and ’70s on our family vacation at the beach. His vessel of choice was a pot oatmeal raisin cookie recipe, passed down from a hippie Great Uncle. I guess he thought ‘what the hell?’ and used his entire stash in one bash. He only made eight cookies and his stash equivalent to an intimate night with Snoop Dogg.
“So, there we were on a random Thursday night. As the house of 12 was getting ready to sit down to eat dinner he started walking around very slowly with his hands held in front of him, like Frankenstein’s monster. Everyone kind of chuckled, then he sat down. My littlest cousin started singing and burped. My father started hysterically laughing for — no joke, we timed it — 23 minutes, uncontrollably, eyes watering, having trouble catching his breath, lobster-red face. I looked at my mom and was like, what the hell? She said he had eaten five cookies, all by himself.
“After the 23 minute laughing fit he stood up, walked to the couch, face planted (my father looks like a drill sergeant so face planting the couch was like a Redwood coming down) and hummed himself to sleep. This was at 6:00 pm. He woke up at 7:00 am and simply asked ‘Where’s breakfast.”
